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Reborn Through Jesus Christ
What if Allah is God and Jesus is the son of Allah? February 12, 2014 ~ You have to understand I was not a Christian. But that never kept Jesus from being with me in my life. People who are not Christian might want to believe that Christians are only Christian because they were told to be by other people or that they were talked into it by other people. Of course the concern was mine also, how could I be Christian, just in case that it were not reality? When I was 12, I woke up extra early on Easter morning and Jesus led me to go to church to take part in an Easter ceremony for him. We were not a Christian family and we did not attend church. I was led to go and I knew it was Jesus leading me. Today when Jesus talks to me, he talks quite a lot about Easter. He loves Easter because it is a time when many can be with him. I think the second time when I had a very strong Jesus moment was when I was watching a tv documentary about Jesus on Easter, and I wondered to myself had Jesus in fact been alive or was it just a story? Being someone in doubt and someone who studied science I could not have expected it but Jesus appeared before me. He is so pure and clean and so much love. His love shone into me and melted pains I did not know I had, and I cried those pains out of me. And one or two other times after that, Jesus had appeared just to tell me how much he loves my mother. On one of those times he had guided me to go to a Christian bookstore to buy for my mother a holy cross necklace, and I did. I even wrote a letter to my mom describing specifically that it was a gift from Jesus, it was not my idea! When Jesus showed me an image of my mother and expressed how much he loves her, that love was so immense that I was sobbing and crying for many hours. I did not know it was possible for a human to have so many tears. I was trying to talk and describe to someone what that love was but I had no words, all I could do was sob and there were no words to describe it. And yes. I did not believe in Jesus, because no human had proven it to me. I don't need to be proven that I exist. I just do. ~ says Jesus now, February 12, 2014, 8:53 AM I was a proud person. Someone who was not going to believe in mythical figures just because other people were convinced and tried to convince others. No words from a human could have convinced me. No matter how profound someone's own experiences of Christ. I wanted to make sure I did not believe in something just in case it were not true. What if Jesus were not real and people were believing in it? That would be embarrassing and quite ridiculous. So it had to be Jesus himself who taught me that he is here. Last night I was waiting to fall asleep and I happened to think about how I had chosen the white dove with the olive branch for the symbol of Christianity here on this website. How I had made my own personal decision not to use the holy cross as symbol. Because to me, I thought that the holy cross symbolized torture and murder and I did not want such things to be symbolic of a religion that should be based on love and God. That was just my thinking. I then did something where I thought about it very loud in my head "No!!!" I said and I said loud in my thoughts that I did not want the holy cross as symbol. That is when Jesus came to me. He was very distressed that I had said No about the holy cross so loud, it had been as if I had yelled it out in my thoughts. Jesus took my hands immediately and put my hands together in a prayer the way that Christians pray and he told me to pray with him! Jesus was so near he was in me. It feels like having a person quite near. Jesus feels like a person, almost like a human person would, but he is so clean and pure, he is light and he is love. He was in my arms and in my hands, he was in me and with me so near. I felt so comforted in his presence and praying with him. The only previous time that I can remember having prayed, was that one night not so long ago when I prayed and that time when I had said Amen Jesus had come to me, he said that he comes to those who pray and that is the night when we ended up writing the book together about the history of the Holy Scripture. So praying or holding my hands in prayer was not natural or familiar to me, yet it felt so natural and familiar I did not want to undo my hands from prayer. I said that I wished I could keep my hands in prayer for the rest of my life. Jesus spoke to me and he talked to me about the meaning of the holy cross. I cannot restate his exact words here but what he said was that he had died on the cross for all of our suffering. So it was not a symbol of torture or murder, the cross is a symbol of how Jesus suffered on behalf of all of our suffering. He had come to correct my misunderstanding. Jesus seemed urgent and almost distressed because I had shouted so loudly "No!" when I had explained in my own thoughts why I did not like that symbol. That is when things started happening. It sounds nice and it started out nice having Jesus with me and praying with him in my hands. At first his presence was comforting and soothing and I felt as if I wanted to stay that way in his presence for all of my life. But then I started getting very anxious and scared. I want to warn that this might be a scary story and it might only be for adults. For some reason I suddenly became very afraid of Jesus. I felt like screaming. I can't remember all of it anymore because it is gone by now, but believe it or not for some reason I felt as if Jesus was dangerous and as if he was going to molest me or hurt me sexually. I also got very angry at him Jesus is with everyone's child, not just with this one. And yes. My name is Lord Sananda. ~ Jesus says, he spoke more calm and serious the first sentence, and the last two sentences he smiled warmly, February 12, 2014, 9:06 AM
And last night then I also got very angry at him for having objected to my feelings. I contended to him that no I don't think that torture and murder should be the symbol of Christ and God and religion. I told him how utterly terrified I felt just thinking of such an act of crucifying someone. I was angry at him for invading into my thoughts and into my bed and my home and into my space and for coming here and telling me that I had no right to think what I had chosen to think. And then I felt so very afraid that he was going to hurt me sexually. I felt as if there was an invading man in my presence. And oh how I suffered! I shivered and I cried and I felt very afraid and I hated Jesus and I was angry at him and I wanted nothing to do with him! I literally had a nervous breakdown. I suffered and I felt terrible and I blamed Jesus for what I was feeling. I believed that he had been the one to hurt me so badly to make me feel so very afraid and hurt. I wanted him to just go away and I wanted to not have to be feeling this way. At some point I finally managed to fall asleep, after one of the most devastatingly difficult nights. When I woke up in the morning the torment continued. Jesus was still with me, and he had probably been with me all night. Again I got terribly frightened and I felt as if he might molest me. Not that I thought that he would, but his presence was stirring up thoughts like that, fears and utter terror. I suffered and I wished that he would just go away so that I would not have to feel this way. I was so unhappy with having him near because it was his presence that was making me feel this way. I was angry at Jesus and I blamed him for making me feel this way. I was probably still angry at him for thinking that the cross as a symbol of torture and murder should be the symbol of religion and Christianity. His presence was pure and love and safe yet I felt the worst anguish and torment that I can remember having felt in a long while. I told him how I was going to convert into being a Muslim so that I would not have to deal with Jesus making me feel afraid of being molested and how then the cross of torture and murder would not have to be my symbol of religion. I suffered in the morning and I cried so much and I was so afraid and I relived so much pain and suffering and fear. Slowly I started to understand what was happening. Jesus' presence was healing me. You see, I was reliving pains from my past that had lodged inside me. I had been sexually harassed in the past and it had hurt me and it had lodged into me as painful memories. Jesus' mere presence was melting those pains away, but first those pains had to be relived and resurface. Jesus had taught me what the cross meant. Jesus was going through my pains together with me. He felt everything I was feeling, and I was not having to go through this alone. And then I understood. I understood why I had been so afraid and suffering in his presence, and now I also understood what the cross meant and what Jesus does for all of us. I had thought since the pain had appeared when Jesus was near that it had somehow been his fault or him doing this to me. But it was that he had seen those pains in me and he was resurfacing them so that my pains could go through him and b That is what it means by being resurrected. I was resurrected for them. ~ Jesus, 9:18 AM
So that my pains could go through him and be healed away through Jesus Christ The Lord. That is when I understood. I understood what my fears were. And I understood what Jesus is. And I understood the meaning of the holy cross, and how he died for our pains. Jesus has felt every single pain that any human ever has felt. And he takes our pains and fears and he takes them through himself so that they can be healed. I apologised to Jesus for having blamed him for my suffering. I apologised for having been angry at him. And I apologised and I told him that now I understood what the cross meant. When I was suffering last night and this morning, Jesus was feeling all of my pains and he suffered together with me, but he is stronger than I, so he takes on our pains and deals with them. I could not have healed these pains all on my own. This is Arch angel Gabriel. Thank you for telling about us! ~ Angel Gabriel, 9:22 AM Normally I sleep until noon or much later, sometimes until 3 PM. It is because I wake up tired and I feel tired all day long. This morning I woke up and got out of bed at 8 AM and I felt completely refreshed. I had even tried falling back to sleep because I expected to after years and years of being so tired in the mornings. But Jesus had made me reborn and revived and for the first time in as long as I can remember I had energy and happiness and vigor in the morning. I told my mother I had been reborn through Christ and that I was ready to become a proper Christian. I also know now that I cannot convert into Islam. In the morning after Jesus had healed me, Jesus told me that he is a shortcut to God, and that muslims instead have to do all of the work on their own. Jesus has also said previously that his blood has purified the Bible and that is why we can all read the Bible even if we are unclean or if we have sin in us. But people can only read the Quran if they are clean, and I was told by Allah or by someone who speaks for Allah that I was not clean to read the Quran. Muslims do a lot of work to be closer to God and to be free of sin and pains. We Christians have Jesus here to help us. And Jesus will help Yes, tell the children about me. Dear [my first name]. ~ Jesus, 9:27 AM Jesus will help anybody even people who are not Christian. He will help us even if we denounce Christianity, even if we tell him to go away he can be here for us. Even if we are angry and we direct that anger at him he is here for us. I cannot convert to Islam because to become a Muslim you have to denounce Jesus and say that Muhammad is the only prophet. I love Allah and I know Allah is real, but Jesus is also real. It was not Allah or Muhammad who healed me last night and all night and this morning, it was Jesus Christ. I will not denounce Jesus. I will not say that he does not exist. He came here and he died for our pains and sins. He rescues us and protects us from evil. Meanwhile Islam asks each human to do the work more on their own. If we have Jesus here then why should we say no to his help? If God sends us his son to help us, why would we say no to God's gift and try to do this on our own? I love Allah and I will always know and love Allah as my God. One day maybe I will be pure enough to read his Quran. I will consider Muslims as my brothers and sisters, and I might even begin to wear a veil and I will cover myself more like how muslim women do. I will not eat pig and I will only eat halal meat. I want to pray to Allah every day and bless my meals for Him. I want to be a Muslim, but I cannot denounce Jesus. If Allah is God then it was Allah who sent us Jesus? Why is this difficult? I cannot ever forget Allah, and I cannot ever forget Jesus. Am I committing blasphemy against Islam by knowing and having Jesus in my life? I know Islam is very strict about not changing anything in their routines. But I know that Christianity would not mind if I also praise Allah and Islam in my life. I think I will have to call myself a Christian but also love and know Islam in my life. Islam would not allow me if I also know Jesus. How can both Allah and Jesus be real? And why does this have to feel difficult? Would the Muslims hate me for knowing Jesus? And would Christians hate me for knowing Allah? Am I wrong on one of these? Do I have to give one up? Do I have to choose? I cannot ever be asked to give away Allah. He is my Father and he loved me and he saved me. He welcomed me into Islam and he wanted me to be a Muslim. Allah was teaching me Arabic and he wanted me to marry a Muslim man and to have many children so that He could be here on Earth through us humans. Allah is the joy and life in me. But Jesus is real. God sent Jesus to Earth and Jesus carried all of our pains and sins and he resolves them when we take in Jesus Christ in our hearts and bodies and minds. I cannot denounce Jesus and I cannot say that Muhammad was the only prophet, because Jesus is also here. But I cannot denounce Muhammad and I will never denounce Allah as my God. The snakes are no longer here. We can tell that we do not belong here. ~ Reptile, 9:38 AM, I see a green reptile man with scales and he says this to me
A Snake man. What next? I cannot be a Muslim because I would have to give up Jesus. But I think I can be a Christian and the Christian Church would allow me to also know and love Allah. The Christian Church would not ask me to exclude any version of God. If Allah is God, does that mean that Allah sent us Jesus Christ to Earth? And who is the Snake man? And what about the Jews. Who is their God? Is their God the same one as Allah only that the texts and practices are different? Is Allah the same as the Christian God, only worshiped differently and through different texts? I don't know these things. Would Islam ask me to step away from Allah because I know Jesus? Does that make me impure or unworthy of Allah as my God? Allah came to me even when I was not a Muslim. He rescued me and told me I was his daughter. What if the holy books of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, all belong together? Could they somehow be combined into one religion? Or are there elements in any that diminish another? I feel that Islam is the strongest way to God. For instance Muslims and Jews will not eat pig. Pig is an impure food and that way it makes the person further away from God. Christians not only eat pig but in many countries including Sweden, Christians celebrate their religion by eating a huge piece of ham. But, can the Bible be blamed for Christians eating ham? Perhaps that is not a directive given by the Bible to eat pig. It was the Normandies who first invented it. ~ Jesus or someone else says, 9:44 AM I do not know who the "Normandies" were, but Jesus Lord Sananda spoke about them in the book we made called "Lord Sananda Speaks: Holy Scripture". Lord Sananda (Jesus) then said that the Normandies were some type of people living in northern regions of Europe. They lived much like pagans. The Romans were trying to take over the Normandies and also the Saxans and a third group of people in Europe I don't remember what they were. The Normandies always ate their pigs. Long before they remembered me. ~ says Sananda, 9:46 AM Of course. The Normandies ate pig even before they were Christian. Christianity was then later brought to them, but the Normandies continued eating pig. So Christianity cannot be blamed for people eating pig, although if pig is an impure food then the Bible could have been more strict about telling people not to eat it. Islam asks women to conceal themselves more than Christianity does. It is because thoughts of the flesh bring humans further away from God. It is also because to look at a woman (or a man) with sexual judgement it means that you neglect the fact that that person is one of God's children. When you look at a woman with sexual desire you are committing a sin because you deny the fact that her soul is God's daughter. It diminishes so much that a woman is. It wasn't until Allah explained it to me that first night that he came to me when I understood why Muslim women conceal themselves more. It is not because women are made out to be inferior or because they are oppressed. It is because it lifts them closer to God. It places value to the woman's soul. To look at a person, whether a man or a woman, and think of them sexually or physically, is to forget that they are a soul, and that is to forget God. Islam does so many things that help people be with God. Christianity does less. However, when people are Christian they learn to do the right things on their own without strict rules. A man who is a true Christian can look at a woman and not see her as an object, and instead he will recognize that she has got God's light in her. A man who is a true Christian will know the right things to do, even when the Bible does not tell him what to do. True Christians know not to drink alcohol, and to love one another, and to pray with God and to thank God for our meals and to help the homeless, even when it was not made out to be a rule. Please do not make me have to choose between Islam and Christianity. And what ever do I do if Judaism begins to speak to me? What treasures is Judaism hiding? How do the Jews speak to God, and what does God speak to the Jews? How do Jews live righteous lives when they do not have Jesus in their life? Jews and Muslims have to work harder if they do not have Jesus to come and save them. What does anyone do without Jesus to help us? And my heart pains for all the people who do not know Allah in their hearts. Can I learn from Islam and live righteously as a Muslim woman? Could I pray all the many times a day to Allah and wear the veil and only eat halal meat? And one day I would be pure enough to read the beautiful Quran about God and the Angels? But not take the vow of Islam where I would have to declare Muhammad as the only propet that ever was and ever will be? Does Allah let me live with him even if I do not take the vow, even if I do not marry a Muslim man and have children for Allah? Does Islam let me love their God so much, even if I know Jesus? However, I feel completely safe in knowing that a Christian priest would not mind if I also have Allah. I just know and feel that Christianity would allow me to also embrace Islam. Can I honor and love my Jesus for all what he does here for all of us children of God? Is Allah his father? Are the two religions one or will people for always be divided and have to choose between the Father and the Son? This is a Heavenly thing that you cannot decide on your own. ~ a beautiful BEAUTIFUL!!! white Angel of Light descends here, she floats and is purest white and she says, 10:04 AM I feel small and unworthy of religion. I feel impure and I have made many mistakes. But I have lived without religion for a long time, and in a journey of life I have learned that Jesus Christ the Savior is real. I am Lord Sananda. Please, do not call me Jesus. Even if everybody else does. My name is Sananda. Not Jesus the Christ. ~ Sananda, 10:05 AM
Jesus is real. The Angels are real. And the Fallen Angels the Djinn and Demons are real. Satan is real, regretfully perhaps. The Holy Spirit or Holy Ghost is real. Angel Michail showed me God in the form of a white person in purple robes. And Allah is real and he shows himself to me sometimes in the form of an Arabic man. It makes things beautiful, but also complicated. I want both Allah and Jesus in my life. I want the Angels in my life, luckily both Islam and Christianity not only knows Angels, but know of the same Angels. Isn't Angel Gabriel mentioned in both the Bible and in the Quran am I right? If the same Angels are mentioned in both the Bible and the Quran, does that tie our two religions together? Why did the Muslims not accept Jesus Christ the Savior, if in fact God did send Jesus to us to help us heal from our sins and pains? If Jesus is real and he was sent to us from God, and if Allah is God, then why would the Muslims say no to a gift from God? If all Jesus wants to do here is to help us, to love us? Why would the Muslims not allow Allah to send us his son Jesus, if that is what he did, because the Jews were praying for God to save them so that is when God sent us Jesus? Now it sounds so confusing. The Jews prayed so hard that Allah sent us Jesus. That almost sounds too funny it is so conflicting, but that is what things look like right now. The Jews prayed so hard that Allah sent us Jesus.
Are we humanity divided among three books, the three main religions of the Earth? Is our God the same? Do Jews, Christians, and Muslims all pray to the same God who hears them and loves them and takes care of them as their Father? Or is one or more of these three religions without a true God? In my own investigations, I know that Islam has the real God in Allah. The question is then, does Christianity and Judaism also have God, which would mean that Jews and Christians would be praying to Allah and not to some other God. Allah is God. God came to me and rescued me in my deepest moment of despair and he came to me in the form of Allah of Islam, not God of Judaism or God of Christianity or any other form of God. He came to me as the God of the Arabic language, the God whose people are Muslims and who live by the Muslim code of living.
Because Allah is God, it means that the Jews and Christians are praying to Allah. Or are there other Gods, similar to Allah? I would not have any other God besides Allah. This is so complicated. Neither Allah nor Jesus seem to be angry at me when I am trying to figure this out. I would feel it if they were angry at me. I felt when Allah was angry at me when I had touched his book the Quran when I was unclean to handle it, and I felt when Jesus was distressed at me last night when I had said that I did not think the cross should be the symbol of Christianity. Neither Allah nor Jesus is trying to stop me from trying to piece together the two religions. They are not angry at me, or they would have guided me away from any grave mistakes in their religion. Allah guided me away from touching the holy book of Quran when I was impure, and Jesus guided me away from denouncing the cross as the symbol of Christianity. Neither Allah nor Jesus is telling me that I am making a serious mistake in their religion. Allah is not here to tell me not to believe in the Christ, and Jesus does not tell me that Allah is not God. Or would they let me make these mistakes?
Would Allah let me believe in Christianity even if it was the wrong religion? Would Allah let me leave his religion and embrace another "false" one and he would not try to stop me? Did he just not want me to touch his book the Quran with impure hands, but he does not mind if I were about to leave his side? Is the door to Allah open for me, just that he will not let me touch his book with impure hands?
How does someone be a Muslim and a Christian at the same time, and what jewels does Judaism hide from us? What beauty lies in Judaism? God heard the Jews when they cried and they prayed for God when the Romans were hurting them. That is when God sent Jesus and Jesus and the Jesuits gave Christianity to the Romans. The Jews have a God that hears them and that listens. Does that mean that Jews are secretly praying to Allah?
I have to study theology. I need to answer these questions. I would like to listen to the Jews. I want to understand what they know. Is Judaism open to outsiders? Do they teach others what they know of God?
Here is what I remember from religion classes in high school, and I may be wrong about it too: Judaism came first and is the oldest religion of the three. Jesus came to Earth and the Jews refused to accept Jesus as the son of God and Savior and the King of Jews so they carried on with their religion as if God had not sent his son Jesus to save humanity. But out of Jesus' presence on Earth a new religion was formed which does include Jesus as the son of God, Christianity. Christianity is based on the same Old Testament as the Jewish religion am I right? Just that it also added the New Testament which includes Jesus, so Christianity is perhaps an updated version of Judaism? An improved version possibly? How about Islam? I seem to remember that Islam came around last of the three, with the prophet Muhammad, whose teachings of God were so pristine that they formed a new religion, Islam. And so we had three major religions.
I have not been privileged to read the teachings of Muhammad yet because when I was about to read them Allah told me I was impure to read it. I wrote to the Islamic Center and I told them what had happened and I asked them how to clean myself. I was told that I am allowed to read translations of the Quran. I disagree since it was Allah or someone who speaks for Allah who told me I was not pure to read it. I will wait, and I will approach closer to God little by little until it is safe for me to read the Quran. But it seems that the teachings of Muhammad were so pristine that his words did not need Judaism nor Christianity and stood alone.
But, what if. Here's a thought. What if we could somehow combine all three of Judaism, Christianity and Islam? What if they all belong together? Christianity and Islam they have the same Angels in them. Angels tie together Christianity and Islam, perhaps. Why are wars fought over this? Why do people fight? Why are there Christians who hate Muslims, and Muslims who hate Christians? And how could anyone hate Jews, for being Jewish? I didn't used to have any religion, and now I have two. Or three.
Would it have been easier if Allah had never come to me? Then who would have rescued me if not Allah, my Father? Or would it have been easier if Jesus had not been in my life and helped me heal away my pains and made me reborn and clean with him? Then who would have cleansed me? And another good question is, has Jesus now cleansed and purified me so that I am ready to read the holy book of Islam the Quran? Can Christianity purify me so that I am clean to read Islam?
Can Christianity purify me so that I am clean to read Islam?
What if Allah is God and Jesus is the son of Allah?
Jesus wanted to add something here when he knew that I would be writing a page about how Jesus came to revive me and make me reborn through Christ. He wanted to say that he had not come to go through this process with me in order to correct my mistake about the significance of the cross. Namely, a few days ago when I was interviewing the demons for my book about the Fallen Angels, the demons had left a very black uncomfortable feeling in my chest and I found myself putting a small pocketsize Bible on my chest and how it soothed and healed the painful dark that the demons had left behind. Jesus had seen me do this and that is why he knew that I was ready to take Jesus into my heart. That is why we went through this process together now. Not because he was upset that I had misunderstood the meaning of the cross.
Please, leave this to the preachers! ~ says one of the demons, 10:47 AM
Just now Jesus showed me an image of when I had a sexual encounter with a certain guy several months ago. Jesus knew that since I had met Allah I felt guilty about having had sex with someone I was not married to. And ever since I knew Allah, I knew how deep the connection between man and woman needs to be before we let someone so close as to have sex. We need to know that person in the soul, otherwise we offend that person's soul and also offend God if we do this. I had been feeling guilty of this and I had been feeling impure and sinly because of this. Jesus told me that now that he had cleansed me I was now clean from this act. I just lit up! "You mean, even those sins are forgiven and gone?", I asked Jesus. I could see how my light brightened and how I was like the child I once was, before I had done these sins.
That is when I realized. In Islam don't they stone to death women who commit these crimes? Don't they kill women in Islam if women diminish God in themselves and in others by sins such as these? WHY oh WHY does not Islam let their women be forgiven and purified through Christ? If Christ can take our sins away? Jesus came here to teach us love. Why can we not love and forgive our daughters and women? Why does Islam ask their women to carry their sins forever and to go into death for those sins and to never be uplifted and restored to God's glory, if the sins can be washed away?
Is it better to let someone suffer from their sins forever and ever with no hope of returning to their Father God? Or to love them even for their mistakes, for no human is as perfect as God is, not ever, and to forgive and wash them and bring them back home, to God? Even Allah came to me after I had lived a lifetime, 30 years, without God in my life. I had eaten impure foods such as pig. I had not prayed or washed myself religiously and I had eaten meat that was not blessed or halal. I had not worn the veil and I had sometimes been out showing cleavage. I had committed sins big and small. Yet when I cried and I was sad and suffering and I had lost all hope, it was Allah who came to me and he loved me.
Allah did not throw stones at me for my crimes. He looked at me as someone lost and lonely and he showed me so much love and that changed me. Why can Allah love me for my many crimes, if other Muslims would not? If I have committed the crime of having sex with men whom I was not in love with, and who were not in love with me, and we were not married? If Allah himself came to me and loved me regardless, why can his people not love women who make mistakes? If Allah sent Jesus to us to guide us BACK to God, how can we say no to that? Do Muslim men not sometimes think sinful thoughts that they wish they hadn't? Is there a single Muslim who is perfect as good as God, who never not even as a child committed a mistake even a small one?
I am reminded of that story in the Bible where people were going to stone a woman to death. Jesus came to them and said, "You who have not committed a sin may cast the first stone". No one threw a stone at that woman. And Jesus loved her regardless.
If God put me to this world a place of sin with many traps, I felt the love of Allah for me. He loved me like only a Father could love a daughter. That love is what rescued me. I could not love myself at that time, yet he showed me that I was lovable. If we stray away from God sometimes, Jesus is here to bring us back. Maybe Allah does not become angry at us or want to throw us into eternal punishment. Maybe Allah wants us to learn to love him, to learn to live with him in us? And maybe that is not so easy for all of us who are born here on Earth? Maybe I would not have committed sins had I been born into a Muslim country. Why would God hold it against me that I was born to Sweden, where women commit many sins every day? Would it be my fault, if no one had taught me better?
Is a pure Muslim better than an impure who has no religion, if the Muslim was taught religion and was lucky enough to be born into religion? Does God want each of us to learn religion on our own, or are we supposed to teach each other? If being righteous relies on being lucky enough to be born into a time and place where religion will be handed to us from the other humans around us, then that places religion and God into our hands, and takes it out of the hands of God? I do not want to know religion simply because a human gave it to me. I want religion to come from the hands of God, and it has.
Allah could have been angry at me because of my many sins. He could have come to me that day and told me that he hates me, I would have felt his hatred and disapproval. He could have looked at me as if I were someone impure and unworthy of his Grace. But instead he had come to me when I was the smallest and loneliest. He found me in a small room and his greatness filled the room. He knew where I was and he told me that he loves me and that I am his daughter, and he welcomed me to come back home to live with him in Islam, to be safe and loved and for my life to have a meaning and purpose.
And Jesus knew my sins and problems and he cleaned them away, and he tells me that I am forgiven. My mistakes have been undone. And today I have felt like I am a child again. Happy, instead of weighed down. Bright, not dark. New and vibrant, not dying or weak. If Jesus can do that for us, would Islam refuse it? Would Islam ask that every human who has done a sin would have to carry their sins with them for always without any forgiveness? Or does Jesus offer us an easy way that is made too easy? Does Jesus make it easy to commit more sins and just be forgiven? Is Jesus cheating?
Jesus did tell me today that he offers an easier way to God, easier than for instance Islam. He didn't say a better way, just an easier way with less effort, because he walks with us and holds our hands. And to be with God, means to be what God is, and that is a formidable task for any human.
LOVE. That is what Jesus is all about. LOVE. Jesus cleans and revives us because he LOVES us. But Allah loves me too, I have felt it.
Another thing I have learned from my dealings with religious deities is that demons, the Djinn, are responsible for many or all of the sins in humans. The Djinn want humans to have casual sex, to do violence onto others, to drink alcohol and do drugs, and they even claim to have created things like the plague and leprosy. Even an Angel told me that it was Satan who created the plague and gave it to humans, which is difficult to understand for someone like me who has studied bacteria.
Can humans be held responsible for acts that the Djinn make them do? Or are we personally responsible to be strong in faith in Allah so that the Djinn cannot touch us?
This is getting complicated. And if Jesus has purified me and resolved at least many of my sins, does Allah consider that fair and just, or would Allah think of it as cheating?
Now Jesus laughs very loud and heartily, and after a brief pause of a few seconds he then says:
Would you consider it cheating if you become clean after having a bath? ~ Jesus, 11:12 AM
February 13, 2014 ~ Today I received ten mysterious text messages to my phone in Arabic. Very few people have my phone number, and I have to ask myself if - if - this were a sign from Allah for me to come back to him? Because ever since Jesus came into my life and is making me reborn, I have pushed away my plans of becoming a Muslim more. And now that I see things written in the Arabic language it rekindles my love for the Arabic and for Islam. How do I choose? And do I have to choose? I don't know what the messages say because I can't even type up the Arabic in a text message it isn't clear. But it reminded me of Allah again.
February 14, 2014 ~ I received more strange text messages to my phone in the Arabic language this morning. Yesterday I tried typing them up on the computer to see if I could have them translated, but I cannot see clearly the text message characters to do so. After a few text messages I received a phone call from that number. It was a lady speaking in Arabic and I know it wasn't a sales call because there was a little toddler girl in the background. I asked her who she was in English and she answered me in Arabic. I hung up the phone, still wondering if this was Allah rekindling with me, because these texts started appearing yesterday when I had felt so close to Jesus Christ to think about abandoning my thoughts of joining Islam and I had contemplated on the Holy Quran which I still so desperately want to read (but might still not be pure enough to read). Religion is complicated, but at least I have got two of them that have come to me. Many people have none, and that's complicated.
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